There are different kinds of confidence.
There is the kind that lets you try new things; putting yourself in situations that are unfamiliar, where you don’t know what’s going to happen.
There’s the kind that lets you talk openly about your ideas, thoughts and opinions. Let’s you say to others ‘this is where I stand’, ‘this is what I know’, ‘this is how I feel’, ‘this is right’, ‘this is wrong’, ‘I agree’, ‘I disagree’.
One of them gives power and reliance to others. Your less accountable. You’re led by others, and rely on what they tell you and what they do.
The other relies on yourself. To be assured of your place, to not be swayed by others. To bend but not break. To know yourself.
Both are based on the assumption that people are, on the whole, good. That people are genuine and honest, with what they say, what they do and their intentions. You can trust them, with either yourself or your thoughts.
Which of these types of confidence should you have? One. Both. How much of each? What if one out ways the other? What if you only have a bit of both? None of one, all of the other?
And what kinds of people have each one?
Someone that can talk to anyone. But about nothing at all.
Someone that talks about everything, but to only a few.
How scared are these people of encountering each other. That the other may demand or force us to do something that only they feel comfortable doing. A failed attempt to be what only the other is good at can shatter our sense of self.
I live constantly in the fear of the aftermath.